ఎంబెడ్ టెస్టింగ్

An Ode to Bandiwallah

Some call him Mia. Some call him Babu. Many address him as Arey Bhai. Nobody seems to know his real name. He is a small time vegetable vendor with a push cart, selling his wares some 100 yards from my Ameerpet apartment. I would have missed the opportunity of meeting him, had my wife not been little off-color this morning, had the rythu bazaar van not missed its weekly visit to our nukkad yesterday, or had I been a trifle more lethargic than what I was an hour ago. For me it was a situation of you-get- vegetables or you-get-no-lunch.

To compensate for my ignorance about such an uncommon hawker in my neighborhood (somebody mentioned him to me earlier), I gather as much info as I can while I pick my vegetables. Actually, you cannot pick any vegetables from his baskets. You do not need to. Mia has already done the job for you. All the vegetables in his gunnysacks and open heaps are seasonal, full bodied, fresh and inviting. There are about eight buyers, each collecting not less than five kilos on the average. I guess I have to wait a good quarter hour before my turn would come and start watching the scene wondering what I should do. Seeing my inaction, Mia helpfully offers me a bamboo basket. I take the cue and the basket. Apart from the usual bottle gourd, cabbage, carrot, okra, raw plantain, I collect some ridge gourd too. I normally avoid eating ridge gourd, but today the vegetable on my ignore-list somehow appears tantalizing, and I collect four of them. Surprisingly, Mia clears the packing, weighing, and settling the account of all the eight senior customers in the four minutes I take for filling my basket. And a fresh batch of six or seven customers take their positions, couple of them arriving in cars.

Something strikes you on your first glance at Mia. Despite his disheveled dress, unkempt hair, a hint of BO around him and my baseless prejudice that Muslim hawkers of Hyderabad fleece the unwary customers, I notice his eyes carry a twinkle you cannot place. You almost befriend him for no reason. His countenance has an underlying smile a photograph can never capture.

I approach him with my two baskets, in anticipation of the usual weighing routine. As he takes a look at my baskets, I ask him to add some spinach, some potatoes, coriander, curry leaves and green chillies. He complies with my request in ten seconds flat without bothering to ask me what quantities I need, as if he has an inborn propensity to assess the people’s needs—he actually has, as the contents of the bag he handed over to me prove. My only tête-à-tête with him is why I do not find tomatoes and his answer that ‘aaj tamatar achche nahin hain’

Then the great truth dawns on me. He does not have a weighing balance! It seems he does not need one and does not believe in one!

He asks me to pay forty rupees. It appears he sums up the amount payable to the nearest ten rupees—to the customer’s advantage!

I pay; somewhat guilty faintly aware that the neighborhood Ambani Fresh would make my purse lighter at least by sixty rupees for my purchase.

People tell me that Mia runs his ‘business’ for about three hours daily in the morning at the same spot and he has been doing that for the past twenty years!

I come back home with mixed feelings, most positive of all being the world is still a good place to live.

Swiss money, Advani, and the Sensex

This is a mail which I have sent to my close friends on 11th April 2009. I understand the mail enjoyed good many forwardings. Now I post it here.

How do you connect the facts of the bygone week?

1. Advaniji promises to prevail upon The Swiss government and bring back more than Rs.50 lakh crores to India.( The amount stacked in Swiss banks by unscrupulous Indians over the decades is probably much more than 50 lakh crores. In any case, the Indian money stashed away is more than all the monies parked by all the nationals of the world. The money, if brought back to Indian kitty, can run the country for three years!)

2. Sensex advances by nearly 40% in six sessions whereas rest of the markets around the globe are either shaky or plummeting. The senzex has zoomed from a 12 month low to an 18 month high of 11,000+.

3. Recession hits India, jobs lost, merchants wail, construction activity halted, inflation near zero, but the retail prices do not budge. The common man is miserable.

4. Nobody predicted stock markets to rise. FII's are just watching in confusion, MF's do not have surplus funds as they are reeling under redemption pressure. Sensex should have lingered around 8000 during the week, or fallen further down as per fundamental analysts.

5. The turnovers of the index-based scrips are so high, the charts had to show buy signals, and analysts are baffled. They feel the realistic prices should be around 70% of the current values. At every rise, investors are exiting the markets to get some hard needed cash. The index comes down by 150 to 200 points beginning of every session and mysteriously closes around 300 plus points up end of the day.

6.The Sensex surge is happening when American economy is in doldrums, crude is weak, elections are draining away thousands of crores from Indian economy, the investors are scared of the markets, and electors know that no stable government is likely at Center and in most states.

WHO IS BUYING THE INDIAN STOCKS AND WHAT ARE THE REPERCUSSIONS?

My answers:

1. The 50,000 or so who looted the common man in India and deposited the spoils in Swiss banks have sensed Advaniji CAN do what he says. The time has now come for US and Europe to listen to India, more so if there is a strong leadership. US economy is crumbling and they cannot fight terrorism. The world under the leadership of India will soon convince Swiss authorities, and take back their rightful wealth.

2.The money has started to flow back to India from the day of Advani's epoch statement. Even today, the best place to invest the surplus money of the world is in the Indian stock markets. Come what may, the stocks have to double up in 5 years.

3. The real estate prices are less than the official prices, and asking rates are higher than the realistic prices. Gold is already at record high price. Stock markets are the only investment option to their ill-gotten wealth, which if they wait for a few weeks may not be theirs!

4. The money that has flown from Swiss banks to Dalal Street last week may have been only in the order of 50,000 crores. This is not even 1% of the money yet to come.

5. The 1% of our money coming back to the country can jack up the markets by 40%, what if all the money comes back? The trickle of the money will soon become a flood in the coming weeks as the fear psychosis grips these looters.

6. In a few months time, the Indian industry, Indian real estate, Indian agriculture and Indian job markets will all flourish beyond anybody's imaginations. Indian business tycoons will be on a takeover spree of the good units all over the world. Militants and militancy will be uprooted from the Indian soil.

INDIA IS ON ITS WAY TO BECOME A SUPERPOWER FAR EARLIER THAN EXPECTED!

JAI HIND